Tears of Confusion
by Bree In Diamonds
Summary: Heero scolds Quatre for constantly coming back with failed missions, leaving the young boy with heavy emotions. What is his reason for doing this? What can Quatre do to try and make him happy?


YAOI ALERT!! WARNING! Anyone who dislikes yaoi and/or is offended by it in any way, this isn't the fic for you. Also, there are a few swears here and there. If you're the 1% population that doesn't like swears, than this isn't for you either. Sorry! Reviews pleeeeeeeeease!!  
  
DISCLAIMER: Here we go...don't own 'em.  
  
How Do You Please the Perfect Soldier?  
  
"Hey Tro, ya hear from Quatre yet?" Duo asked.  
  
Trowa, who was fixing himself a sandwich, shook his head. "No. He had a mission early this morning that Heero gave him," he said shortly, visibly not taking any interest what the young pilot of Sandrock was doing. Duo shrugged, then rummaged through the fridge for something that was to satisfy his hunger. The safehouse that they were hiding out in was deep into the woods. With a rare mission every here and there, the boys spent their days pretty much nowadays just relaxing. Except Duo, who spent his days pigging out and running up the food bill for Quatre to take care of.  
  
"The Winner family is going to go broke trying to satisfy your taste buds," Heero muttered at him as Duo flopped down in the living room with two sandwiches, a bag of chips, a glass of cherry Juicy Juice, and a can of soda.  
  
"Yeah, well, what can I say," Duo said, during a sigh as he eyed his sandwich. He picked it up. "Come to papa." Heero rolled his eyes as Duo shoved half the turkey sandwich in his mouth in one bite. Duo had just swallowed half of his huge bite when Quatre walked through the door. The sixteen-year-old blonde had his head down the whole time.  
  
"You okay?" Duo asked with a mouthful of food after he said his greetings.  
  
"Fine," Quatre said plainly, exhaling. He took out a diskette and tossed it to Heero. "I could only get half the data on the mobile suits. I couldn't get the rest without getting caught."  
  
Heero seemed visibly upset. He took the diskette that Quatre gave to him and stepped on it with a heavy foot, cracking it. Duo and Quatre both flinched with Heero's sudden, expected actions.  
  
"I've told you before you left, Quatre, that if you didn't get the rest of the data to not bother coming back here!" Quatre picked his head up. He gathered tears in just a few short seconds, letting his emotions come through. He was never any good at trying to hide them.  
  
"Then if you're so damn good, Heero, then go do it yourself! You're the one that's constantly got your nose in the laptop, just waiting for a mission! If you wanted it to be perfect, you should have done it yourself!"  
  
Duo's eyes were wide. Quatre never told anyone off before. There must have been other things on his mind. Heero half expected Quatre to lash back at him like that, but nevertheless, he was still strict as of this moment with the young boy.  
  
"Because it's highly time you make use of yourself too! Instead of sitting around here like a little helpless baby, or a housewife! Get out there and succeed for a change! I'm tired of these non completed missions you bring me!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Heero!" Quatre cried, putting his emotions into it. "Stop yelling at me for once!"  
  
Heero continued to stomp on the diskette, breaking it into two, then kicked it back at Quatre.  
  
"Now, thanks to you, we'll never be able to know about their new mobile suits!"  
  
Before Quatre could say anything more, Duo spoke up and told them to stop. This wasn't his fight and it was probably best if he didn't butt in on things that didn't concern him, but he didn't think it was fair that Heero was saying these things to Quatre. Duo wasn't surprised when Heero told him to shut up. By this time, Quatre had already ran up to his room, where he would remain, convinced to himself that he could never please Heero.  
  
Trowa was up in their room relaxing when he barged in and leaped onto his bed, stomach first, and sobbed into his pillow. This alerted Trowa. He rolled over to look at Quatre. He had heard the fight downstairs, so he was already filled in. He stood up and sat himself on the edge of Quatre's bed. Quatre paid no attention to the second body on his bed. Trowa placed his hand on the small of the boy's back and rubbed him softly. He was usually no good in cheering people up, but when it came to Quatre, he was gifted.  
  
"Oh Trowa," Quatre sobbed, knowing who it was that was comforting him. "I can't go on like this much longer. I'm no good!"  
  
"Yes you are, Quatre. Heero just needs to learn to get off his lazy ass and go the missions himself."  
  
"You got a problem with the way I run things here, Barton?" came Heero's serious voice from the opened door. Both Trowa and Quatre looked over at him with a surprised, tiny gasp. Heero stood in the doorway with his arms folded and legs crossed at the ankles. Trowa growled and balled his fist. Quatre took notice of this and told him not to start anything. The last thing he needed to see was another argument, and possibly a physical fight.  
  
"Because if you have a problem, you can leave too," Heero finished, simply. Trowa wasn't one to pick a fight; he would rather just lead an easygoing lifestyle, but if someone messed around with Quatre, he didn't hesitate to step in.  
  
"Trowa, no!" Quatre said and scrambled to his feet, getting in the middle of each of them. "No more!"  
  
He looked at each of the powerful pilots, one at a time, while holding his arms out to each of them.  
  
"Heero, if you want me to leave, I will, just don't start fighting, I can't take it anymore!" The blonde boy shook his head as his emotions began to take over again.  
  
"You mess up again Winner, and you're gone," he said simply, then left their sight. Quatre didn't care where he went to, just as long as he was away from them.  
  
"I hate him," Trowa growled quietly under his breath.  
  
Quatre shook his head. "No, don't say that-"  
  
"I HATE him!!" he said loudly. He took Quatre's hands. "Quatre, let's get out of here. We don't need to take this from him."  
  
Everyone had known of their relationship. They had both already confessed their love for one another and exchanged saliva, but nothing happened other than that just yet.  
  
"We can start a new life somewhere else."  
  
Quatre took his hands back and looked at the ground, shaking his head sadly. "No. Sorry Trowa, but I can't."  
  
Trowa frowned. "Why?'  
  
"I don't know. I feel like I owe Heero something and when I find out what that something is, I'm going to make it happen."  
  
Trowa gave a small grunt.  
  
"I need him to be proud of me."  
  
Trowa got angry at this. "You're never going to be good enough for him, don't you see?! Quatre, if you stay here, you're going to be thrashed at every day for not doing something right! Let's just take our gundams and get out. We can work together."  
  
Quatre, yet again, shook his head. "I need to be here for Wufei and Duo too. I know they at least need me."  
  
Trowa gave up. Muttering something under his breath, he stormed out of the room. Quatre didn't bother to go after him, he just sit on his bed, waiting for time to pass.  
  
_______________________  
  
"You're too hard on him," Wufei said later on to Heero in his room.  
  
Trowa had gotten to Wufei and luckily Wufei had agreed with him and said he'd talk to Heero. Heero would never thrash at Wufei, for he knew he'd end up getting a sword held at his throat.  
  
"Who?" Heero spat, not looking at Wufei and continued to type at his laptop. Wufei walked over and slammed the screen to the laptop down, catching Heero's hands in between painfully.  
  
"Ow! What was that for?!"  
  
"For not listening," the Shenlong pilot said simply.  
  
"What do you want?" Heero growled, rubbing his knuckles.  
  
"For you to lighten up," Wufei said, sitting on Heero's desk, staring at him.  
  
Heero grumbled and took his eyes away from Wufei's.  
  
"Forgive them for not being as "smart" as you are."  
  
"Is that what this is about?" Heero asked. "Because if it is, you're just wasting my time."  
  
He went to open his laptop cover again when Wufei charged his hand down hard on top of it.  
  
"Be careful with that!" he said.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"Well what?!"  
  
"You going to stop being a prick to them, or do I have to use the sword," he threatened.  
  
Heero balled up his fists. "Is it so much to want Quatre to learn how to protect himself?!"  
  
Wufei gave a frown. "Hmm?"  
  
"I'm only doing this to him so he'd feel more confident about himself if he were alone! You think I like making him cry? You think I get a kick out of hurting him?!"  
  
Wufei's ebony eyes widened in shock. "Heero...I had no idea..."  
  
"No, none of you do, because you all like to think I'm the bad one and not look deeper into the situation! Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do."  
  
He was free to open the cover again. He picked up where he had left off just moments ago.  
  
"Don't you think you should let him know before he runs off with Trowa?"  
  
Heero gulped. That's right, him and Trowa are seeing one another, he thought.  
  
"They're not really going, are they?" he asked in a low voice, ceasing his typing and lowering his head.  
  
Wufei shrugged. "I don't know, but you better get Quatre alone soon so you can tell him how you feel."  
  
Wufei got up and walked towards the door. Heero played that sentence in his head a few more times.  
  
"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Heero asked, spinning his chair to face the door. Wufei just looked back with a small smile, then left.  
  
Just what is he implying? Heero wondered. He turned back to his laptop and started reading their next mission. It was a page long. He started to read it, only unknowingly, his mind trailed off elsewhere. His eyes were still moving, but he wasn't concentrating on the words. He was thinking about Quatre.  
  
Oh Quatre, I don't want to hurt you verbally like this, I just worry about you, he thought. If anything happened to you, I'd be the most hurt. Who cares about what Trowa thinks. I never liked him much anyway. It's him I should be yelling at, but no, I have to yell at you, angel. I just wish you could see that I only did it for your own good. It's not because I hate you. I could never hate you. In fact, I think I just might even lo-  
  
"Um...H-Heero...."  
  
Heero snapped out of thought with a gasp and looked to his door. Quatre stood possibly as far away as he could get and yet, still be in the same room as him. Heero's heart sank. Quatre really is afraid of me, he thought. We need to straighten things out here and now.  
  
He stood and commanded Quatre to shut the door and come forward. He gulped nervously and did as he was told. Heero was alarmed when Quatre began to shake as he moved closer to him.  
  
"Why are you shaking?" he asked in an unknowingly cold voice.  
  
"I-It's cold in here," he lied.  
  
"Stand or sit, whatever makes you happy," Heero said.  
  
Quatre chose to stand, no surprise to Heero.  
  
Heero sighed and rubbed his face. "Look, Quatre, I won't pretend to not know why you came in here, because I do know, but before you tell me, there's something I must say."  
  
Quatre gave him a frown, but kept it small, for he feared Heero would be angry with him.  
  
"I know I've been a real asshole to you and I'm sorry. It's just that...fucking bastard Trowa that gets me so mad when it comes to you."  
  
Quatre frowned. "But why?"  
  
"Because he does things to you that I can't help but be angry at," Heero said quickly.  
  
Heero had kicked himself mentally. Was he actually admitting he had feelings for Quatre? Wufei seemed to have noticed he did. Maybe it was true. He knew there had to be a reason he didn't like Trowa. Maybe this was it. He was jealous of the fact that Trowa got to Quatre first.  
  
Quatre stared blankly at him. "I...I don't understand."  
  
"The only reason I'm so strict with you is because...well...just say that I care about you Quatre and I'd hate like hell for something to happen to you."  
  
Quatre's eyes slowly began to widen. "You...care? But why?"  
  
"Because if anything happened to you, I wouldn't be able to handle it."  
  
Heero felt brighter now. He felt like a better person knowing that he apologized to the one that meant the most in his life right now.  
  
"I won't make you do anything you don't want to do anymore, Quatre Winner. If you want to leave with Trowa, go ahead."  
  
He reverted back to his frown. "Who said I was leaving?"  
  
"Wufei...he just left a few moments ago and said you were going."  
  
Quatre shook his head. "No. Trowa wants me to leave, but I couldn't. Duo and Wufei need me. I couldn't leave them behind."  
  
"And what about me?"  
  
Quatre blushed slightly. "Well...at the time, I was still angry, but now that you mention it, yeah."  
  
Heero cracked a smile, then laughed. They both laughed for a few moments, feeling of how great it was to laugh together again. Not even thinking twice, Quatre walked over and hugged Heero. Heero replied twice as hard.  
  
"Are you still angry at me?"  
  
"No. I could never be angry with you. Well, not for long anyway."  
  
Heero chuckled. "Yeah."  
  
"Heero, can I ask you something?" he asked, arms around the back of his neck and his head resting against his shoulder.  
  
"Anything."  
  
"What did you mean when you said you care about me?"  
  
They broke away. Heero blushed.  
  
"Well..."  
  
There was no hiding it. Come on you coward, tell him! Heero's mind screamed.  
  
"Quatre...I know Trowa came first and I probably will never be able to replace him, but...I...like you a lot."  
  
Quatre blushed heavily. He covered his face with his hands to try and hide it, while pretending to scratch his head.  
  
"You...what?"  
  
"I know you couldn't feel the same for me at any cost; I just wanted to get my feelings out, just so there was a reason I thrashed at you like that. I only did-"  
  
Before Heero could finish the rest of his sentence, Quatre swung his arms around him again and sealed their lips together. The little blond gave out an impatient moan after a moment, because Heero wasn't opening his mouth for him. Heero quickly got wind of this and allowed his angel to have access to his wet, hot mouth. Their tongues entwined, savoring one another.  
  
Finally, when Heero snapped back into reality, he pulled himself away from Quatre in a small pant.  
  
"Why...why me, Quatre? What about Trowa?"  
  
Quatre shook his head. "Trowa could never treat me like a real man, that's why I've decided long ago that you'd be the one I'd fall in love with, Heero. Now that I have, you better not let me down."  
  
He pushed Heero onto the bed and straddled him, kissing. Quatre was already hard. His arousal poked Heero's stomach. The Wing pilot moaned. He had never felt anything like this.  
  
"Do you want me?" Quatre asked in a seductive whisper.  
  
Heero couldn't help but nod at a fast pace, during his unsteady breathing. He was getting worked up with just Quatre's lips working their way around his lips, face, neck, and collarbone. He couldn't believe it. First, he was yelling at the boy, and now he was allowing Quatre to kiss him. Heero kept reminding himself that he loved Quatre and would be willing to give his angel his body any day. He deserved it after all.  
  
Quatre's arousal poked his thigh, causing him to shift under the small blonde. Heero was gone. He had never knew this kind of excitement existed.  
  
"Is this your first time?" Quatre whispered into his mouth.  
  
Heero blushed.  
  
Quatre smiled. "Don't worry, I'll be extra careful."  
  
Their tongues danced as Quatre gripped the ends of Heero's shirt and struggled to lift it upwards. It didn't work too well and it got Quatre moaning in depression. Heero noticed this and smiled through their kiss. In no more than two seconds, he separated from his shirt and was working on his pants. Quatre grinned mischievously and put both his hands on Heero's arms.  
  
"Now, now...that is not your job to do."  
  
Heero stopped moving and Quatre slowly made his way down Heero's body, running his lips ravenously endlessly everywhere. Heero's skin felt so good that Quatre would devour him in a heartbeat. He continued to make his way down Heero's stomach, tracing a wet trail down with him. Heero shivered as the room temperature got the best of him.  
  
"Oh, Quatre...down...further..."  
  
Heero wrapped his fingers in Quatre's hair, struggling to push him down. His angel wouldn't have it. Heero quickly learned that he was going to have to deal with the sweet torture. Quatre tore off Heero's biker shorts very quickly, including his own shirt.  
  
"That wasn't your job to do, little one," Heero countered with a smirk. Quatre didn't seem to care. He tore off his own shorts as well and went back up to Heero's mouth, where they exchanged mouthfuls of saliva again. Quatre sealed their bodies together and slowly moved horizontally, getting deep moans from Heero as their rock hard erections rubbed against one another.  
  
"Ohhh...god..."  
  
Quatre grinned as he watched Heero grip the sheets. He clenched his jaw shut and forced himself not to cry out.  
  
"Don't hold it in," Quatre whispered, caressing his cheek. Heero's eyes opened back up to find that Quatre had claimed his lips again. Quatre's hand searched for Heero's hardened member. Heero's eyes went wide as Quatre painfully squeezed both their arousals together and rubbed their lengths. Both of them moaned, but Heero's was much more productive. He thrust his hips upwards and begged for Quatre not to torture him anymore. Quatre obeyed and released him. Heero sighed. Quatre moved even lower and laid in the middle of Heero's legs, taking his lover's hardened arousal in his hot, sweaty hand and rubbed his thumb over the tip. Heero moaned loudly and begged not to be tortured anymore. Quatre stared at his goal no longer and took Heero's length into his hot, welcoming mouth. Heero gave a struggled gasp as the young boy's sweet touch nearly drove him over the edge in that first second. Quatre showed no signs of mercy as he attacked the perfect soldier's fully erect cock, driving it in and out of his mouth with the help of Heero's hands at the back of his head. Heero shuddered and groaned as he came violently into Quatre's mouth. Quatre was careful to leave none left over as he swallowed every drop, licked the tip, then joined Heero at the mouth.  
  
"Did you like that?" Quatre whispered into his mouth.  
  
"Oh...fuck yeah," Heero responded.  
  
"Do you want more?"  
  
Heero gave a positive response and watched a smile form on the young boy's face. Taking it upon himself, Quatre grabbed the lubrication tube that Heero kept hidden in his nightstand and opened it.  
  
Heero didn't care at the moment how he knew it was there, all he knew was this was taking way too long. Quatre lubricated his finger and pushed it into Heero's tight virgin ass. He joined him at the mouth. Heero gasped in his mouth, followed by a moan. Quatre withdrew and pushed his finger back into Heero numerous times. He smirked when he found Heero's sweet spot right away. Heero's thrusts went in rhythm with Quatre's finger. Quatre added a second finger, then finally, a third. He wanted Heero to feel less pain as possible.  
  
Quatre lubricated himself and positioned himself at Heero's entrance. If it were up to him, he'd be wasting no time. He had to make sure Heero still wanted it.  
  
"Quatre..." he breathed, "what are you waiting for?!"  
  
Heero could hardly contain himself. His hands traveled from the sheets, to the back of Quatre's head, to the headboard, and finally, back to the sheets. Quatre had never seen him this aroused before. It excited him knowing he was Heero's first.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Of course I'm sure! I'm fucking positive! Do it!"  
  
Any louder and the Alliance would have heard him at the base.  
  
Quatre entered him. Heero let out a loud moan. Quatre was ordered to move faster once he was fully inside Heero, but Quatre had insisted he'd not move until Heero stopped grimacing in pain. Once Heero's face twisted in expressions other than pain, Quatre was ordered to give him all he had. Quatre was reluctant at first, but when Heero started swearing for him to move faster, he gave in.  
  
Quatre moved at a pace that had them both crying out. He found the sweet spot within him and concentrated his thrusting on that spot, which had Heero yelling his name. Quatre's thrusts were harder each time he heard his name being cried out by his lover.  
  
Quatre could feel himself building up. Within just seconds, he would fill Heero with his beautiful seed. Wanting to make Heero's first time a success, he reached in between them and grasped Heero's overly erect member and rubbed its length.  
  
A moment, but many cries later, Heero spilled out all over his love's stomach, triggering him as well. Quatre screamed out Heero's name as he burst into him, filling him with love.  
  
Quatre panted and collapsed onto Heero's stomach, listening to his heartbeat. Heero brought his arms up and hugged Quatre, struggling to regain a normal breathing pattern.  
  
"That...was wonderful," Heero said honestly.  
  
Quatre smiled. "Glad you approve."  
  
Quatre lay beside him. Their hands met in between their bodies. Heero felt his eyelids begin to close slowly.  
  
"I love you," he muttered to Quatre.  
  
Quatre's heart fluttered. He had never thought about seriously loving Heero until he heard those three magic words escape his lips. He said it back and prepared to join him in slumber.  
  
"Hey Quatre..."  
  
Quatre's eyes opened again. He looked to Heero, who was looking over at him.  
  
"What was your reason for coming in here if it wasn't to tell me you were leaving?"  
  
Quatre chuckled, remembering this all started when he walked into Heero's room uninvited a short while ago. "I came in to ask you if you had the next OZ location so I could try and prove myself to you."  
  
Heero smiled warmly and cupped the young boy's cheek. "You don't need to do anything of the sort anymore. You don't have to try and prove yourself to me. I love you just the way you are, Quatre Raberba Winner, so don't you ever change."  
  
Quatre smiled. Their lips met briefly before they had fallen asleep in one another's arms.  
  
________________________  
  
A/N: My very first yaoi fic ever. I hope it was too bad. Reviews are always welcome. 


End file.
